another moral hangover. fuck.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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