I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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