if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize