just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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