kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
