remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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