I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
