This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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