Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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