i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
