I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
be right there i have to get my cape
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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