That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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