He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Congratulations! We have a period
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