there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
