Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this will be a night to untag.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
