we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
