Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
