Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
