You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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