you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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