its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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