Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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