And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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