dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you win again, gameday.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
