Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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