real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
