Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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