I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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