you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize