no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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