Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
