Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
