oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
