I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just google imaged poop.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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