dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
