Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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