I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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