Who did Billy Mays play for?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this will be a night to untag.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
