You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize