jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
