i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
