Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
