Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
