the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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