Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize