Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
