i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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