But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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