bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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