I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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