I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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