I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
