I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
