Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
