She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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