you guys were way drunker than both of me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
