Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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