i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize