I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize