I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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