Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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