1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
