I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
