Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
