i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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