she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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