His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
