Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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