Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
