I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
